I said what?

Together, Eric and I have 6 kiddos and we've decided that is a good number.  I decided to have a quick procedure, although permanent, that would ensure no more babies for us.  The womb is closed forever.  Pregnancy, for me, is not easy or enjoyable.  It's filled with medications, first to keep the baby, then to make sure he/she doesn't grow ginormous in utero.  All in all...there are very good reasons for us not to have any more children.  Besides, if we DID have another child, we'd have to draw straws as to who stays behind on trips since we wouldn't fit in our car...or this could be out family car.

Even though this was not a 'real' surgery, they sure do make sure it's not unpleasant.  Personally, I think they could have given me a Tylenol PM and gone about the procedure...but no, I had to fill two narcotic prescriptions (they needed my driver's license for this....what list did I just add my name to??).  When I filled those scripts, I knew....this was going to be a memorable day...but not for me, entirely.

The coolest thing about this procedure is that I got to watch it on TV while drugged up.  This, I confess, leads to an enjoyable time had by all since I cannot filter my words under those conditions.  The things I remember include telling the 3 nurses (while tears are appearing) that I 'preciate them for helping me; asking if the image on the screen is really me; concluding aloud that I am a freak at seeing what appeared to be an 'extra' fallopian tube; and (this is the most embarrassing to me) softly, but audibly saying 'wooooooo' like a ghost while they were trying to calculate inventory used.  And I swear I remember hearing something come out of my mouth about a balloon, an elephant, and a reindeer.  I don't know, don't ask.

Ahhhh, the joys of being receptive to medication.

dum, dum, DUM....the list

Years ago, some friends of mine started this list idea.  1001 days to complete 101 tasks.  I thought, woohoo for them...I have too much going on to do that nonsense (sorry guys).  Most days, at the end of the day, I feel something like this...and something tells me she didn't have half the stuff going on in her life that I have in mine (course, I don't wear those darn heels to clean the house or cook dinner, supper, food).

So I'm taking the challenge...biting the proverbial bullet.  I'm going to start my list on January 1, 2011.  So many things will happen during my list's life - the kids will be 15, 14, 10, 10, 7, and 3 (and apparently, we will have NO food in the house, pray for us).  Hopefully, my participating in this list will be an example to the littles and will make an impression.  Who knows.

I'm still trying to come up 101 things...I'm at 57 right now and could use some suggestions.  So feel free to message me, comment here, write on my wall, Facebook message, email, text, or a give me a call to let me know what you think.  Holy moly...really?  Is it THAT necessary to be THAT available?  Hmmmm.....

Don't Feel Bad

We just spent a few days at Eric's sister's house with most of the family celebrating Thankmas (combo Thanksgiving and Christmas).  It was the first time in many years that a baby was around and there was much anticipation to snuggling the new wee one.

Aunt Shawnda with Ben

One particular evening, Ben was a bit fussy.  I had been nursing for, I'm sure, 13 hours...and just needed a break from His Majesty.  Eric took Ben and started the long proven 'bounce/jiggle' that tends to calm little ones.  And, of course, it worked!  I was enjoying a quiet moment without a baby attached to me.  Zoe was sitting on the floor near my chair and looked at her daddy, then looked at me.  She said with such empathy, "Ya know, I think my dad just has more experience...because, ya know, we were babies before."

I paused.  I stared at her big, doe-like eyes.  I contemplated how to respond.  Didn't this little girl know I have been responsible for two babies before Ben?  Didn't this innocent, small human know that a mother's instinct can be stronger than any life-experience?  What about MY experience??  What about the hundreds of times over the last 12 weeks that I have calmed this particular, little baby??  What about the hours I spent in the middle of the night while everyone slept, except Ben and I?  Where was her uber-experienced daddy then??  Every sentence I formed in my mind, I thankfully realized, could have resulted in diminishing her awe of her daddy.  I just couldn't do that to either of them.  So I paused longer.  I asked her, "Zo...did you know that Ethan and Quinn were babies once, too?"  Her response was a soft, "yeah"...and if to say, "oh sweety...yes, but that's not the same" or maybe "awwww, you think you're experienced...how cute."  My mouth dropped open, but there was really nothing that could be said, at that point.

And that's when it hit me.  There's really nothing that could be said, at that point.  See, she is still at that beautiful stage where she truly believes that her father can do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g!  Her dad can answer any question -- and be RIGHT.  Her dad can solve any problem and resolve any dispute.  Her dad can kiss away tears and his embrace can soothe hurt feelings.  Her dad can battle imaginary monsters and squash real bugs.  With a brush of his strong hand against her delicate cheek, she knows everything will be all right.  She can trust it.  Her dad is the best protector and can rescue anyone without even riding a horse!  She will measure all men against her dad...and rightly so.  Her dad has, in fact, hung the very moon.

As I sit here, Eric is playing Mannheim Steamroller (I mentioned a few days ago how much I love them) because he knows I've just had a rough couple hours....yeah, I guess he does know a thing or two.