The Mom I'd Like To Be

There are some pretty famous 'moms' out there and I'm not necessarily talking about celebrity-famous.  We've all seen them.  The mom in her perfectly trim 'errand running' outfit dropping the pristine kiddos off at Preschool, or the mom that always has her hair perfectly styled and nails immaculately manicured, or the mom that has never stepped out of the house with her shirt on inside out, or backwards, or spit up on, or <gasp> the same one she wore yesterday.

I see these moms and always IMMEDIATELY think, 'wow...I wish I was like that.' as I mentally go over every thing about myself I would change.  After the self-loathing, I realize...I am me.  I am not them.  Sure, maybe they 'look' fantastically put together, but maybe they are in a loveless marriage.  Sure, maybe their children walk happily and quietly beside them, but maybe that's because their children aren't allowed to get dirty.  Sure, maybe their perky little bodies fit into a negative sizing chart, but maybe they sacrifice cuddle time and sharing family dinners for one more workout.

And maybe...JUST maybe...they look amazing, have well mannered children, are married to the most amazing man possible for them, have oodles of adoring friends that would drop everything to be at their side, have a close relationship with God, enjoy a healthy bank account, and...and that's okay.

It's okay because I cannot compare my life to someone else's life.  My life consists of growing my relationship with God, sharing yummy food with my family, getting dirty in the mud, balancing family and work, adoring my husband, training the littles to be big someday,  and being a better person.  Sometimes I miss a training run because the kids have activities - they'll only be kids for awhile and their memories make it all worthwhile.

I most definitely do not have it all together.  This Valentine's Day we barely managed to address the store-bought cards late last night...but it got done.  Over the last few weeks, as Zoe birthday approaches, the sweetest thing happened. The kids get to choose their birthday dinner.  After each din-sup at our house, Zoe announced she wanted 'this' to be her birthday dinner. There were multiple changes to Wednesday's dinner menu. I think she has finally settled on these really yummy Chicken Parmesan Wraps. I love that the kids love my cooking. I love that the kids choose to eat something I make instead of wanting to go to a restaurant. I love that they get excited and each have lists of favorite things I make for them. This is exactly the mom I am proud to be.

We are given the children that we are meant to parent. I wholeheartedly believe that statement.  My successes and failures are what they need. I absolutely am not perfect, but I'm perfectly suited for these littles...as they are perfectly suited for me.

I'm happy and content with my life...and who knows, maybe some mom out there sees a snippet of my life and thinks, 'wow...I wish I was like that.'

#6. Run 15 miles

January 28th, 2012. I ran, not only 15 miles, but 15.66 miles in 3 hours and 7 minutes. I ran the inaugural 'Go Short, Go Long, Go Very Long' run in Tulsa, OK put on by Fleet Feet Sports Tulsa.  I ran the 25K and got an awesomely cute medal.

The weather was gorgeous, I felt great, I planned on running with my friends (who I adore!), and Eric was running the race, too! All good things for me.

My friends and I started out pretty slow, which if you've ever run a race, you know that is really hard to do! We had plans to run the first 5 miles and then run intervals (5 minutes running, 1 minute walking) the rest of the race.  We sort of broke into a couple groups and when I realized that, I figured I should try to just run it. Let's just see how it goes, right?

Turns out - with half the training of when I ran OKC and the hills that don't exist in OKC, I still managed the same time as OKC. Sa-weet!

The one thing I didn't count on was the hill on Turkey Mountain.  That was probably close to midway through the race and it was awful.  Every time I thought I was done with a hill, I'd turn the corner and there was another one.  Man, did that do a number on me.  But I kept going.  I was determined to see what my 13.1 time was - so I could compare it to the OKC half I ran last year.

There was this one little section where you had to turn left and run about .25 mile and then turn around.  One could easily (maybe not 'easily') have turned right and skipped that part, but no one did. As I was going down that stretch, telling my mind to shut up about running all this way down here just to turn around and run back, I saw Eric. :) That definitely put a hop in my step. He was already on his way back and was looking pretty good for having a good time on the race.

I kept going, trying to stay on pace to either beat or match the OKC time.  When there was about 5 miles left, I saw Eric.  He started run/walking to wait for me so we could run together. I got the run the last bit of that race with him.  Because of our family size - we rarely get to run together.  We even more rarely will ever get to race together. But it worked out this time for us to cross the finish line together.

Overall, it was a great run.  My back started getting really sore around mile 13 or 14, but that's to be expected. I crossed the finish line with a smile and felt euphoric. I took an ice back when we got home and had very minimal soreness, although my legs felt quite heavy for a few days afterward.

My MARATHON is in a month.  This weekend, I will be running 20 miles with my training girls (with whom I will also be running the marathon) and I can't wait.  Every new PR distance makes me feel that much more able.  When people ask me why I run, there are all kinds of things I can say: it's time alone with my thoughts, it's something I'm doing for myself, it helps me stay healthy, it's my escape, it's my 'girl's night out', etc.  While all of those answers are true, the truest answer is simply:

I run because it makes me feel strong.