And he said, wait, what did he say?

E's brain functions at a level which sometimes confuses me, sometimes surprises me, and sometimes just plain baffles me.  Tonight, we shared a quiet time together that we normally do not get to enjoy.  The following conversation occurred:

E: Mom, if someone were to want to put a bullet into Ben, would you lay yourself over him?

Totally shocked at this out of the blue question...

Me: Um, I would do whatever I needed to do to make sure my children were not hurt.
E: So, you'd take credit and lay over him for the bullet?
Me: Credit......um, I would try very hard to protect him and each of you.  So I would rather die than you guys have to die.
E: Nodding, yeah...that makes sense.  'Cause Ben is a baby and if he died, he would never know what school was like or eating real food.
Me: (trying to regain some composure) So...where did this come from?
E: No where.  Just curious.
Me: No, curious is 'Mom, what was your favorite subject in school.' not 'Mom, would you take a bullet for your kids.'
E: (smirking) Yeah, did you know that there are some people that think it's more important for other people to live?
Me: (blank stare) What are you talking about?
E: Did you know...(speaking slowly so the apparent imbecile can understand) that there are people that think it's more important for mayors to live?
Me: Mayors?
E: Yes...(slowly again) mayors.  You know what mayors are, right?  So them or people like Barack Obama...you know him, right? (again, double checking for the imbecile)  It's more important for Barack to live than for them to live?
Me: (trying to get over the fact that my son is on a first name basis with the President) Do you mean the Secret Service?
E: YES! They said they would lay over people like Barack if someone else were trying to give them a bullet.
Me: Yes, hon, because that's their JOB.  It's their job to protect people like the President, the First Lady, his kids...make sense?
E: Yeah.

At this point, I'm trying to recover from the conversation when he pulls this doozy:

E: Ya know, I would totally take the credit if someone tried to give Quinn a fast bullet.
Me: Um, no no.  Not the 'credit'.  You would 'take the bullet'.  You never 'take the credit' for giving someone a fast bullet, ok?
E: Oh, ok.
Me: Better yet, how about you never try to give anyone a fast bullet, ok?
E: That's just silly mom, I want to KEEP people from getting bullets.


Being a parent is soooooo awesome.